Organized and arranged words that flow smoothly throughout the whole writing piece which then concludes rightfully
ORGANIZATION
COLLEGE ESSAY
"Confidence. I’ve always thought people with confidence were absolutely blessed, actually I adored the gift that they were born with such a personality. Everyone loves confident people. Confidence helps you make friends. Confidence helps you independently. Confidence helps you pass that interview for the one job you applied for. When it comes to the trait, one thing is certain: truly confident people always have the upper hand over the doubtful and the skittish, because they inspire others and they make things happen. It took a while for me to break into that shell and recognize who I want to become. It consisted of various occurrences like not making decisions for myself without other’s output, regretting not going to certain events, missing the chance to be on the tennis team and many other related happenings that I can’t exactly recall. But from then on, these events made me stop and realize that I could improve my own life to turn into what I want it to be. [...]"
I really think that my college essay is well-organized. I made sure not to cut off into new topics or bring up things that were irrelevant. This essay goes from introduction-situation-what I solved my problem-what I learned from it-conclusion. It definitely flowed in the order I wanted it to.
RISKY BUSINESS
As for my Risky Business essay, I felt that organizing it the right way would give the reader the best understanding of bullying overall. Because not only does it talk about the victim, but the bully as well. Organization was a big factor of this essay because it wouldn't flow well if I'm mainly talking about how bad the victim feels and then all of a sudden why the bully bullies.
"The most painful aspect of bullying is that it feels as if it’s relentless. Unless you’ve actually experiences bullying, you may not be fully aware just how devastating it can be, especially to a teenager or child. It may seem okay just to experience one scene of teasing or name calling. However when it goes on and on, a bully can turn something like walking down the hallways or going to the bus into a nightmare. Bullying leaves deep emotional scars and puts the person in constant fear. It’s not only they’re feelings that get hurt, but their schoolwork and health suffer as well because of their feelings of being totally undermined and stressed out. People shouldn’t bully because it’s troublesome for the victim, causing anxiety and constant distress that interferes with their ability to lead a normal life [...]"
